I am home. I am still very fragile but my family needed me so I was a bad patient until they finally let me out: all fulla steroids, stuff to (try to) keep me calm, and breathing meds.
The whole thing was absolutely terrifying. I could not inhale to draw a breath, it was like a big iron band was around my chest, or being a little mouse wrapped up by a big constrictor snake – every time I exhaled or coughed (and I coughed a lot), whatever was constricting my lungs got tighter so they would not expand AT ALL when I tried to get air back in. I had MILD asthma for over 25 years before this, where I only needed a “puffer” maybe 2 or 3 times a year; that changed when I ran out of my old CFC propelled inhaler (which the government banned to appease environmental hysterics for no good reason) and I became sickened by the new (ineffective and dangerous) HFA propelled inhalers, which are sticky, and it gunked up my lungs. I did not make the connection that the inhalers were the problem until the damage was already done and even though I had switched to the life saving nebulizer that one of my readers had gotten me, I was too far gone already and just kept getting sicker, so late on Tuesday, my husband dragged me half dead and barely conscious into the ER where they checked me into the respiratory unit and made me stay all hooked up to fun machines, wires, and tubes. But I am claustrophobic and do not do well in isolation, so as soon as I had enough lung power to start bitching, I began making the case that they should let me out because I would just drive myself crazy there and not get better. They weren’t buying it until the nicest priest ever came for a visit and then over night I started to improve. I am still sick, but improved enough that I convinced them that I could take better care of myself at home where I won’t give myself claustrophobic panic attacks – so longs as I have the meds I need I will get better.
It was torture to be away from my family, I am a stay at home mom and this was the first time in my 5 year old son’s life that I had ever been away from him since we got him home from the NICU in 2007 (he was a preemie who was born very sick but he is strong & healthy now). My little girl is 7 years old and was so strong, I am very proud of how she kept it all together and continued to rock the perfect grades she gets in school – but her little pet aquatic froggy died while I was hospitalized because I could not be home to help with its water changes and my little girl is devastated.
And one of my cats is missing, she got out while I was gone and nobody has seen her since, she is very old and we live in a rural area so I am afraid that she may have gotten eaten by something. If something untoward happened to her, I can only hope that it was over quick and she didn’t suffer. Kylie is a very sweet cat and she has been part of our family for almost 20 years, I can’t bear the thought of her being frightened or in pain because I could not be here to look after her. Another car disappeared for 2 days, but came home for the sound of my voice. I have always brought all of our pets that are allowed out back inside before dark because we do have wildlife who come out at night that would eat them, such as coywolves (our coyotes are actually hybrid with wolves).
Thank you for all of your prayers, good wishes and help. My husband had to miss work for the first time in many years to watch the kids while I was hospitalized, and the new meds that I need to keep alive, heal, and hopefully avoid having to go back to the hospital were really expensive. I am dreading when I get the bill for my stay. But thanks to friends who hit the freaking tip jar, I was at least able to pay for most of my scripts, so I have got that going for me!
Special thanks to Peter DaTechguy for visiting me, and helping to get the word out about my plight (and getting a very nice priest sent to visit me), and to Karen, The Lonely Conservative, and WJJ Hoge for letting everyone know here at my blogs what was going on, and to Smitty at The Other McCain, and to Fausta, and Mike G, and any other bloggers that I may have missed, and special thanks also to my good friend Keiko who is still rockin’ MareZilla.com no matter what kind of mess I’m in.
I am deeply touched by the outpouring of love and support. Thank you all so much, I really do love you all. XOXOXO!
Shortly after I was pulled from death’s door sent back in the direction of the living, I learned that one of my favorite bloggers, Dan Riehl, who is a very nice man and a true warrior, is in the hospital and that he is severely ill with respiratory failure, so I ask you all now to please pray for him and his loved ones, and please visit his blog and hit his tip jar if you can. May Dan be lifted up by thousands of prayers and may he be healed completely and quickly. May Almighty God bless, protect, and heal Dan Riehl.
Thank you all for everything. The fight will continue. I am happy to be home and also to be back online, because I missed you guys more than words can ever say.
Email Me: Zilla@MareZilla.com